He says it in this late interview about
Miracles of Life:
http://www.ballardian.com/up-a-kind-of- ... n-miraclesThe pertinent section from the interview:
"JN: This kind of dissection of consumerism, or of the way people behave, I suppose, was the same process that was going on in Crash, which became a cult book in many ways, was filmed, was still being read many years later when similar books maybe passed away, quite quickly, and it involved a narrator, who became extraordinarily involved; erotically, emotionally, in violent ways, sometimes, with corpses, with people being cut up on motorways — a terribly dark story — it does seem to be though, quite close to the centre of your life as a writer, that vision, the vision that’s in that book.
JGB: That’s probably true, and in some ways, I regret it, I mean, now and again I open Crash. I think, my god, this is horrific, I mean, this man is clearly mad — and then, you know, it takes me a while to realise that — the JG Ballard, who brought up three very happy children and…
JN: By that time, the time you wrote that book, it would have been eight or nine years after your wife’s death, in the early 70s.
JGB: Early 70s yes. I find it a shocking book to read, I mean I literally have to put it down and take a few breaths. In a way it’s a sort of psychopathic hymn, there’s almost a religious dimension to it, in a peculiar way.
JN: In some ways Crash is about your life as a writer, because it’s about a narrator who is involved and who’s also exposed, in the course of the book, who’s feelings are laid bare, which of course is what writing’s all about.
JGB: Yes, and I think, I laid myself bare there in a way that — I mean it’s a cry of anguish, in a way — it’s a cry of outrage — you know the… I felt, it took me a long while to get of my wife’s death and it’s something I was reminded of every day — I was making sausage and mash for her three children. I think it was another attempt to make, you know, two and two equal five, once you’ve cracked that particular nut, if it’s possible to do so, you know everything seems to be a bit easier, but I’m not sure it is."